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What Does He Call You?

What's in a name? A lot more than you think. Here's your chance to learn what his pet name for you really means.

Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants money.

Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of ovaltine to lager.

Sweetheart -- If it's said patronisingly, it's not so sweet. But when uttered in ernest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.

Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a medallion man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.

Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal with real women.

Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess. You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of Prince Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your overthrow.

Luv -- Expect him to be a builder, plumber, chippie, sparkie or just an all round general geezer. Probably calls everyone else this too, including his dear mum, the vicar and the pet dog.

Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably thinks you are anyway!!

Dog breath -- Charming!! He should be in the doghouse if this is his pet name for you. Return the compliment - serve him a dog food curry.

Stupid cow -- The only farmyard animal you should accept the likeness to are duckie, lambikins and chickie. And you're not stupid, so put him out to graze.

My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you around. The next thing you know he'll be using your name!!

The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you. If you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case, he thinks he owns you.

My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity somewhere.

The missus -- See The Wife.

My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging trees.

My significant other -- He's even more right on. Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own space.

She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably doesn't lift a finger around the house.

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Since October 10, 1997

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