Dear Oprah,

A few months ago I got a membership at Living Well Woman Fitness Center in my hometown of Brute, Arizona. Now they advertised a guarantee that I could eat all the pizza and donuts I wanted, and with their state-of-the-art workout system I would lose weight.

Here's where it gets weird. For months I was returning home from the Fitness Center feeling that I was trimming down quite nicely. In fact, when I look at myself in the workout mirror I can see the results! However, last night I stepped on my bathroom scale for the first time since joining Living Well Woman. I was astonished to discover that I'd gained almost 50 pounds!